Procrastination is often labelled rather derogatorily as”laziness”. It implies that one should be doing something, but one just chooses not to. And although that may be the case for some, who find certain tasks “boring”, for others it is sheer impossible to undertake the necessary task. A powerful sense of avoidance holds them back from action.
However, there does seem a common thread woven into any form of procrastination – the absence of motivation. And yet, for our optimal survival we are all born super motivated. So what could have happened?
There are many theories why we procrastinate, for example to “…avoid negative emotions by delaying stressful tasks…”, (Wikipedia), or “…cognitive impairments may play a role in procrastination…” (Rinaldi et al., 2019).
One of my observations as a therapist is that overly strict and critical parenting can significantly diminish motivation. This authoritarian parenting style demands absolute obedience. Ways of behaving are enforced without compromise, and taking initiative is punishable. Children complete assigned tasks and actions out of fear, not motivation. Such upbringing methods leave little room for children to develop their own sense of agency. Every decision is made for them, including appearance, academic pathways, career choices, social circles, and partners.
With every step in life pre-scripted, little wonder that over time motivation should all but disappear. Without motivation, we find it difficult to solve problems and take advantage of opportunities.
So how to get motivation back?
Some suggestions are to set achievable goals that you can divide into small steps and to seek support from family and friends. But how does one get the motivation to do even that?
Therapy can help clients take ownership of their lives and start choosing for themselves. As we fill our lives with people and activities that are meaningful to us, we gradually feel more motivated to do things to uphold and enable that life.
For a confidential consultation just send an email to mind.matters.gh@gmail.com. This email account is only accessed by a qualified therapist.
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